As a kid, this was one of the first sequels that I thought was better than the original (and one of the few enjoyable sports movies):

D2: The Mighty Ducks. 1994’s smash hit sequel to the beloved kids’ film. Way better than any other sequel from that year.

Disney was quick to capitalize on the success of their first pee-wee hockey hit, by taking the championship to new heights in the form of their (brand-agnostic) Junior Goodwill Games. Yeah, we ain’t saying “Olympics” here.

The Minnesota-based ducks were whisked away to Los Angeles, California, where they met up with their new, nationwide, diversifying additions. There was a stereotypical roping cowboy from Texas, Dwayne Robertson; a hormone-riddled Bash Brother from Chicago, Dean Portman; an Hispanic speedster from Miami, Luis Mendoza; a San Franciscan Asian character, Kenny Wu; and Julie “The Motherfucking Cat” Gaffney from Bangor, Maine!

Little known fact: Colombe Jacobsen became a chef. But if you click on this link, please ignore the terrible interviewer. “If I wanted to impress the ladies…” Ugh, Fuck off, Conn!

Then I also throughly enjoyed Marguerite Moreau as a kid. She went onto star in Wet Hot American Summer.

Then of course, there was Elden Henson who followed up this film with Idle Hands, The Hunger Games: Mocking Jay Parts 1 and 2, and Marvel’s Daredevil.

Of course, you have to blame The Mighty Ducks franchise for trailblazing confusing sequel titles such as The Lost World: Jurassic Park; and Fast and Furious, Fast Five, Fast and the Furious 6, Furious Seven, and The Fate of the Furious. God dammit. Enough already!

D2 is one of the first sports films that I enjoyed, before then and since. Sport films are usually formulaic and boring, and even when some buck the trend of overcoming adversity by losing, they still leave a bland taste in my mouth. Then maybe NOT try to eat the DVD then, Jamie. 

Sorry, my bad.

This was my first time I had ever heard the song combo of Queen’s “We Will Rock You” and “We Are the Champions.”

Emilio Estevez looks like he had hit a rough patch in between this film and its predecessor. But that makes sense, since he had his career towards the NFL within his grasp, until some douche on the opposing team fucked it all up!

Gordon gets lost in the Hendrix Hockey alliteration sponsorship deal, and blows his top to the kids; turning from fun-loving Mighty Ducks coach, to jerk-face corporate shill! What a transformation!

He eventually sees the error of his ways with no real repercussions regarding his contract. Oh well, it’s a happy-go-lucky kids movie!

Gordon Bombay was like my brother’s first grade teacher. Sure, I had her in first grade too, but after they went into 2nd, there she was again; then she taught them for third! I suppose a comparison to Mr. Feeny is also in order. That guy was creepily EVERYWHERE Corey Matthews went!

What’s the franchise like?

It was followed by another sequel: the 1996 D3: The Mighty Ducks. At least they kept the naming convention ya Fast ‘N Furious Fucks!

2 Fucks, None Given!

Where/ when did I first see it?

I first watched this on home video in 1995. I’m 1000% sure it featured a trailer for Heavyweights. Although, I have a fond memory watching it was Max Taggert’s house and then playing Power Rangers for the Sega Genesis.

How does it hold up?

So the film has some cheesy dialogue, some Disney-kid moments, but man, it’s edited really well for a kids’ film, and sometimes you forget that this isn’t an actual hockey film like Goon or Slap Shot.

A few things to Note:

I missed Danny Tamberelli in this film… You’ll forever be in my heart Little Pete! And also occasionally on The Comedy Button!

Also, this had one of the worst ADR lines in all of history: “You’re going to pay me that much to endorse (high-pitched) sportswear?!”

Also, what was Hans holding out for too much money? What is this, Robin Williams in The Return of Jafar? Jan was a good enough substitute I suppose.

The Joker:

The comic relief in this film is once again (for the franchise), Greg Goldberg (Shaun Weiss), not to be confused with Greg Grumberg.

Lessons Learned?

1. Iceland sucks. (If there are any readers out there from Iceland, I love you).
2. USA sucks. We treat our kids like farm animals, working them to the bone so they can have onset arthritis and adult depression.
3. Go Ducks!

Where can you see it?

Check out D2: The Mighty Ducks on CanIStream.It?

-Jamie (@GuyOnAWire)

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