“I. AM. WAR MACHINE. ” -Dream Digitizer

In this installment of Dream Digitizer, I try to make sense of my love of superheroes, the overall Marvel Cinematic Universe, and how it went awry for this dream.

It all started simply enough, when I was hanging out with the Avengers. Except in this dream I was War Machine. We were hanging out on the 30th floor, give or take a few, and I was sitting near the window. Actually, I was outside the window, floating level with the rest of the gang as if there wasn’t enough room for all of the Avengers in one living room (maybe that itself is a metaphor). Also, I didn’t have the suit– I was just on some floating chair.

A Sentinel (you know, the X-Men Mutant-tracking robots who are themselves several stories high), was approaching the building. Now I’m well aware that this of course does not make sense amidst all of the chaotic Marvel movie rights issues but this is my dream, and I love crossovers.

Now I’m floating outside trying to listen in on the conversation indoors– through the glass, but all I can focus on is the Sentinel, who isn’t flying over, but lumbering slowly through the city akin to the style of Godzilla. Each step booms in the narrow streets, echoing against and shaking the sturdy buildings.

I try to get the Avengers’ attention, but they can’t hear me. So I pull out my phone and search for the numbers of the people inside– Nick Fury, Maria Hill, but none of them are in my phone.

I’m yelling to them at this point: “Where’s the War Machine suit?!” Now I’m beginning to panic because I’m defenseless against a building-size metal robot and I don’t have a suit, or a way down from the 30-ish floors below me.

They somehow get wind of the Sentinel’s appearance and begin to battle it in front of me. I however, am still on this fucking floating desk chair, completely helpless, but at least I’m enjoying the fight.

I come to my senses and forget about the fight. How will I get down? Can I jump through the window to my safety or will I attempt the leap only to fall the hundreds of feet to my death?

Cut to: Five minutes later. The Sentinel has been destroyed and I’m somehow in the building, alive. I’m still inquiring about the suit. Black Widow responds, “it’s right here.”

As I’m about to put it on, Don Cheadle shows up. So, now I’m unable to even wear the damn suit. And after all that trouble…

Now I really wanted to be a superhero, so Don let’s me try it on. I’m so excited: I get to be an Avenger! If I could have seen my lower half right then, undoubtedly I would have had an erection. I try the suit on and–

IT’S FABRIC. What the hell? I then unleash a tirade directed towards Don Cheadle about how Tony should give him a suit where he can just think about it coalescing onto his body, and not just some stupid halloween costume.

Don responds with a solid point. “Beggars can’t be choosers. I get shoulder-mounted rocket launchers and all of this other tech that Tony doesn’t have.”

Good enough, I move onto another part of the room where Cap and Scott Lang are watching old archive footage of the Avengers in battle. They also have replicas of all of the Infinity Stones from the films, somehow in weapon form.

The footage on the screen is that of Hank Pym as Ant-Man during the mid-80s. But the only issue is that he’s not shrinking, he’s just fighting the guys like anyone else, but still finds a way to avoid any bullets.

I then go to Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) and commend him on his portrayal of Scott Lang and tell Mr. Rudd that I am a huge fan. Especially how he brings a clip of Mac & Me to Conan O’Brien’s show when he is supposed to show a clip of his new movie instead.

Somehow the “channel” on the television was changed on Youtube (Not sure why top secret S.H.I.E.L.D. footage was on Youtube?) and I was now watching Scott Bromley and some other guy in 1800s style British wares, hunting cap and all doing silly voices.

So what can I interpret from this insane dream?

  1. I am a massive Marvel fanboy.
  2. I clearly feel left out in some sort of social activity.
  3. My brain is as random as any Youtube playlist.

For more on me and my crazy dreams follow me on Twitter @GuyOnAWire


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