*Guys, Timecop predicted the Presidency of Donald Trump.

My love of time travel concepts goes deep. So deep in fact, that I decided to revisit a time travel movie masked as a 90s cheesy action film. Or is it the other way around? Which is it, Timecop? And are you any good still?

 

 

Timecop doesn’t waste any time getting into the action. The film opens with a theft of Gold Buillion in the year 1863. All looks normal until the robber pulls out advanced plasma guns to wipe out the transport team. Clearly, he’s not from that time or the present day of 1994. Wait, in what year is the future of Timecop?

2004?! Are they nuts? They assumed that the world would advance to time travel in ten years? We still haven’t even been back to the moon yet! Way to undercut the impact of all of this “future” tech, Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Yes, if it wasn’t abundantly clear, Timecop stars 80s-90s action phenom, JCVD. The film, directed by Peter Hyams (who also directed the inaugural #52PickUp, Stay Tuned) helms this tale of love and loss… and selfish time travel.

Yes, JCVD eventually decides that time travel can be altered for selfish gain by saving his wife, even if that’s the one thing his job is designed to prevent! You had ONE job, JCVD!

 

 

Speaking of the Ferris Bueller’s Day Off star, the cast is a small, but fun mix of seemingly random people. The film also stars the big bad Ron Silver, who I sadly, only know for this role. I remember when the film was released selling him as a big name, but even then, I had no idea.

 

 

Then the film featured some rather interesting supoorting characters. First, often-entertaining character actor, Bruce McGill.

And the weirdest one for me: Gloria Reuben, who was a star on The Young and the Restless, which I knew because I watched Soap Operas with my mom as a kid.

Wait, I could have SWORN she was in Y&R… 

 

*Checks her IMDb page. She WASN’T in The Young and the Restless!! I blame The Mandela Effect! Wait– She was in Lincoln? So was Bruce McGill. Is that historical drama a sequel to Timecop? It’s not my idea: I’ll let I See the Frog go off on that film theory tangent. I’m moving on.

 

What’s the franchise like?

Timecop was soon followed by a television series three years later. It lasted one season and the franchise was never heard from again…

 

 

That is until Universal decided to go at it again with the hotly anticipated sequel:

 

 

Where/ when did I first see it?

I first watched Timecop on TV on the USA Network with my Dad. This was one of those classic action movies that I remembered enjoying alongside the old man. Complete with sad saxaphone music playing over our hero heading home.

How does it hold up?

The film – aside from its dated CGI – still holds up as a fun ride. It blends time travel concepts well into some great fisticuffs and face-high kicks that JCVD was known for.

Oh, and while the time travel plot sort of collapse into itself at the end, at least it maintained its rules for “The same matter cannot occupy the same space” rule and used that to kill the villain.

I will say, however, that the future tech is pretty laughable. The car sounds like a jet engine while driving, instead of whisper-quiet. But it does self-drive…

Come to think of it, maybe the tech acually predicted the future. Self-driving cars, GPS navigation, voice recognition, VR Porn, Time Travel– Wait, you didn’t read that.

The Joker:

Ron Silver had all of the best lines. Period. Here’s an excerpt from one of his villainous speeches.

“The country’s going down the drain because of the special interests. We need someone in the White House that is so rich, he doesn’t have to listen to anybody. When I’m in office, it’s going to be like the 80s again: Top ten percent will get richer the other ninety percent can emigrate to Mexico where they can live a better life. So Agent Walker, you going or staying?

JCVD: “I think you plan too far ahead.”

Gloria Reuben in double-crossing reveal: “Obviously, you don’t.”

Lessons Learned?

1. Never trust someone who you believed for over twenty years to be a part of The Young and the Restless. Odds are they never were.
2. Timecop predicted Donald Trump’s Presidency.
3. The same matter cannot occupy the same space. So throw ‘Art of the Deal’-era Trump into 45! Voila! A pile of gooey mess!
4. *Also a name you can call him.

 

 

Where can you see it?

Check out Timecop on CanIStream.It? Go to Amazon Prime and rent it instead. CanIStream.It is failing.

-Jamie (@GuyOnAWire)

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