Life is crazy.
I worked with someone recently on a short film, and somehow, her and her fiancé lived in the same small city that I called home for over ten years: Bangor, Maine. He worked at the very same hospital that I did for the better part of a decade, and I remember him. It’s insane to think about: he was working at the hospital during some of the most stressful moments in my life. I’d see him almost every day, and have probably nodded or said hi to him a dozen times. But there were times when I wasn’t the happy-go-lucky person I had been before and since. Those were some of my darkest days, and it is through those they say that you learn from the most.
The entrance to his department was a few feet from directly across the door to my self-inflicted torture chamber. He was working in a job for which he went to school, and I was working in a job that sucked my soul from out of me.
But concurrently I too was working towards my career; I was writing films, moving towards my life, and I had no idea how soon it would come around (and at the same time how much of an eternity it felt like to get there), but I was slowly chipping away at that lofty ambition.
I went to the ArcLight Theater to see A Monster Calls today, and while waiting in line for concessions, it finally hit me in a comforting way: All of these transplants who make the trek to LA to achieve the unattainable; those who risk it all and work their asses off to work at a job they love, they’re here. And I never thought that I could be one of them; it seemed like a distant pipe dream that wasn’t meant for me.
Then I recalled the image of myself rotting away in that dish room, seeing people like this guy working the grind, and I can’t believe I ever doubted this crucial step for my life.
Sure, it’s hard at this time of year; during the Holidays, but I know it was the right call, and it always has been; I just needed to take that leap. Today, I felt at home for the first time in a long time. Family or not, I’m where I need to be.
And it’s truly bizarre how I would see this guy almost everyday during my lowest and never once met his fiancé, because it’s those funny idiosyncrasies of the the creature we dub “life” that surprise us at every turn. That very lifeforce is within us all, and I’m glad that I eventually met her; it’s comforting knowing that this connection could have only been made in LA, and it proves that this was the right call.
These two are my inspiration, them and everyone else who dreams big, and goes for it. Thanks to you two for being you, and I wish you all a Merry Christmas.