I did something today that I had only dreamt of for over six years; I started a new job. Or was it new?
Back in 2009, I had switched shifts in the dishroom from my normal morning 7-3:30 AM to 1:00-9:30 PM voluntarily. What an idiot. Anyways, it was in this transition that my brother and I had created our cartoon show. Yes, we have one. “Will we ever make it?” is the more pressing inquisition. It breaks my heart every time I think about it.
But back to the main story. This creative revelation came at a time when I was a semi-regular burnout, with a girlfriend who really didn’t help– needless to say between the nightmare dishroom scenario and her I was down. The show was a faint light piercing through the darkness, and it was what got me through hell.
So I went back to school the next year. I had put it off a year – go figure, I was afraid of change as much as I am now. Though thank God I did, otherwise I may not have befriended Brandon, Spencer, Jim, Conner, Stew, and oh so many more people who mean a lot to me.
School got me through some tough times, while also piling onto the workload I had set out for myself. Though as long as I was being creative, life was good.
Starting in 2011, The Guttersnipes continued my creative outlet. Another lovechild that kept my paternal instinct alive. However, it too suffered from lack of cohesion; lack of collaboration, and infighting.
After graduation, even though I had been writing screenplays, the droning hum of the dish machine bore a hole into my brain. I had been stuck where my revelation had first occurred; except now I didn’t have a collaborative outlet in which to feel human. I soon began this blog as a means to remove some of that funk caked on my inner brain.
Now, my old job is gone. I finally quit, ready to begin my “new” journey. Today was my first day- A day that gave me excitement and sadness. I was back at a call center job, my first sit-down job in about ten years.
My hope– nay, my desire lies within the conversations of a renewed interest in Youtube content creation, this time focused on movies and video games and if it can come into existence. I need a creative outlet; a focus that’s video/film related.
So I once again return to a call center, but what scares me more, is I stand ever closer to the precipice of something creative and how easily I can be pulled from its glorious gravitational pull.
I can’t begin to explain how this feels. Creative people need to be doing something. Others who feel me can relate- the creative. The only analogy that comes close to the uninitiated, is if something soothes you- and only one thing can do the trick… like watching the classic and familiar The Wizard of Oz.
But somehow one day, the entire existence of the movie has vanished, and no one seems to care… but you.
How would that make you feel? What would you do to replace it? And if that was literally the only thing that gave you solace, peace of mind, and you can’t get it?
You’d be scouring the globe looking for a rare reel of the original 1939 print. You’d pay top dollar just to watch it one time. You’d do whatever it took to feel that nirvana once more.
I’m without my Wizard— and haven’t seen it for so long. I need it, and I hope we can make our version for the world to share.
And so, as I step into this new chapter of my life, I hope the past doesn’t decide to lock arms with me and trot to “We’re Off to See the Wizard.”
With his shitty straw falling out of his arms… HAVEN’T you ever heard of a broom?! Get your shit together past!
Jamie could really use a drink, and some Youtube shows. What do you think? Had you ever seen The Guttersnipes before? Would you like to see Jamie’s face on your screens once more? Follow him on Twitter @GuyOnAWire and keep your eyes peeled.