My Cancer Story Ch. 39 “Preparing for the Best”

Chapter 39: “Preparing for the Best” 

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Mom recovered nicely from her surgery, and somehow, she was a fan of the food (maybe I’m still quite picky after all). February progressed without so much as a medical whimper, but with my past experiences, I was ready for the absolute worst. What was to befall me in my last weeks in Medical care; Crohn’s Disease? Chlamydia? A prolapsed anus?

…Maybe I should slow down on these guesses… Cannot afford to tempt fate at this junction.

Instead, I focused on what was to come after treatment. As much as I always knew I would come out of this relatively unscathed, I hadn’t thought of my future, post-treatment. I devoted so much of my own mental energy to healing, that the thought had rarely crossed my mind.

So while I was taking a much-needed respite from electronic stimulation, I simply sat and thought quietly. Most people plan out their Bucket List, but I needed to focus on the things that we all take for granted and just do. I needed to prepare for the best, and plan my “Life List.” The Bucket will come later after some of these essential items were crossed off.

I knew that I would have to figure out living situations when I returned up North, I mean I didn’t just move out of my parents’ houses only to return so soon after.

 

No, maybe I’d stay with the guys a few days. I mean the majority of my stuff was there, and I was still on the lease. But the thought of crashing on a sorely uncomfortable couch wasn’t the most appealing use of my neurons.

Maybe we could look for a bigger place, for the three of us.

I spoke to the guys, and they, in turn, talked to the landlords. We were under a year lease, but since I had my predicament, they let us back out of the lease.

That meant that… We could look for a house! I could not hide my giddiness, and as a result, some of the nurses were concerned by the sounds coming from my room.

Wow, this “adulting” thing is easy; now that’s settled, what else can I take care of today? College would undoubtedly return to my “Life List,” and so I took the time to worry about my admission reinstatement. Will they take me back? I couldn’t imagine that it would pose a problem, but I needed to be sure. I decided to give Lori (my former foster mother) a call. She was the one after all, that assisted me with the collegiate postponement in the first place. No one answered the phone (an unusual thing in such a busy house). That’s okay; I’ll call another day.

I couldn’t help but wonder if Dr. McGann was right. How much would the chemo affect my brain? Would I be able to keep up in my college classes; or still semi-effectively ruin people’s lives by selling them credit cards at MBNA? Okay, truth be told, that last part didn’t matter to me. I’m not a fan of selling credit cards (or ruining lives) at all.

 

And then there was my ultimate goal: to make movies. I would need to buy a video camera, and write something. I did dream an entire movie once in 8th grade, and I wrote that down to eventually make it one day. It’s a sci-fi, post-apocalyptic film, and I remember it being powerful, yet fun and action-packed.

But did I possess the needed smarts to succeed at such an occupation? I was a quick learner and smart (enough) before, but now, I was also poisoned for months on end.

I felt like I was graduating high school all over again. I mean, here I was, with my whole life ahead of me (hopefully), and I didn’t know if I could make it the way in which I needed.

The world was my oyster, but what if I just wanted some chicken? What if I wanted to do something that’s never been done before, but no one, including myself, knows what that is?

At the very least, I was happy to be alive, to field these crucial questions, and to sit back and appreciate my ability to do so. I was breathing, and nothing could take that away from me. Well… actually LOTS of things could, and it’s only a matter of time, but I have healthy lungs and lots of heart.

And weeks of treatment left…

-Jamie (@GuyOnAWire)


This will be my on-going story of my personal battle with Cancer. I’ve been wanting to write this for years, and my hope is that it helps others who are currently experiencing their own battles (whether it be for themselves or a loved one) or to help with early detection.

The way I’m doing it is terrifying for a writer. I’m writing a first-draft outline for an eventual book, chapter by chapter in weekly form. A LOT will change when it’s published.

Stay tuned as I will be posting a new chapter every Monday until the story is complete.

And remember if you experience any Anemic symptoms– get checked for Leukemia as well.


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ch39_preparing-for-the-best

45 thoughts on “My Cancer Story Ch. 39 “Preparing for the Best”

  1. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 38 “Role Reversal” | GuyOnAWire

  2. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 37 “Pure Boredom” | GuyOnAWire

  3. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 36 “The Destructive Shell” | GuyOnAWire

  4. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 35 “Trivial Preoccupations” | GuyOnAWire

  5. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 34 “A Perfect Circle” | GuyOnAWire

  6. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 31 “Shake, Rattle, and Roll” | GuyOnAWire

  7. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 32 “Death and All His Friends” | GuyOnAWire

  8. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 33 “Home for the Holidays” | GuyOnAWire

  9. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 30 “Amphoterrible” | GuyOnAWire

  10. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 29 “Home Away From Home for the Holidays” | GuyOnAWire

  11. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 28 “Super Smash Bros. Mesmerize” | GuyOnAWire

  12. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 25 “Film Fantatic Vol. 1” | GuyOnAWire

  13. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 26 “My Guardian Angels” | GuyOnAWire

  14. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 27 “Town I Call Home” | GuyOnAWire

  15. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 20 “House Guest” | GuyOnAWire

  16. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 21 “Clogged” | GuyOnAWire

  17. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 23 “Picky Eater” | GuyOnAWire

  18. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 22 “The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost” | GuyOnAWire

  19. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 24 “Drugs or Me?” | GuyOnAWire

  20. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 16 “My Childhood in a Nutshell” | GuyOnAWire

  21. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 17 “My Fellow Cancer Combatants” | GuyOnAWire

  22. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 18 “Send the Pain Below” | GuyOnAWire

  23. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 19 “The Starlight Friends” | GuyOnAWire

  24. Pingback: Chapter 15: “The McDonald’s-Loving Thief” | GuyOnAWire

  25. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 11 “Pins and Needles” | GuyOnAWire

  26. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 12 “Sibling Rivalry” | GuyOnAWire

  27. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 13 “Homecoming” | GuyOnAWire

  28. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 14 “Take the Money and Run” | GuyOnAWire

  29. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 10 “Self-Imposed Isolation” | GuyOnAWire

  30. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 9 “Swelling With Pain” | GuyOnAWire

  31. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 8 “Extraction” | GuyOnAWire

  32. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 7 “Growing Pains” | GuyOnAWire

  33. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 6 “The Chemo Fallout” | GuyOnAWire

  34. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 5 “Stephen King” | GuyOnAWire

  35. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 4 “Media Madness” | GuyOnAWire

  36. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch.3 “The First Day of Chemo” | GuyOnAWire

  37. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch.2 “Loved Ones” | GuyOnAWire

  38. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch.1 “Pre-Diagnosis” | GuyOnAWire

  39. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 40 “The End of the Tour” | GuyOnAWire

  40. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 41 “Sibling Rivalry: Round Two” | GuyOnAWire

  41. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 42- Our First House | GuyOnAWire

  42. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 43- A Sense of Dread | GuyOnAWire

  43. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 44 “A Crick in the Neck” | GuyOnAWire

  44. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 45 “Summer Soliloquy” | GuyOnAWire

  45. Pingback: My Cancer Story Ch. 46 “My First Camera” | GuyOnAWire

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