Whoa! The Whole30 book said I would dream about food right around this day in the program, but I didn’t think it would pertain to me!Read More »
Chapter 72: “Once It Hits Your Lips, It’s So Good!”
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“The better sex.” That term never had more meaning then at this point in time. I don’t hate on men but women had (and continue to have) a clear power over feeble-minded men like me.
Kyle had introduced us to his uncle and his group of friends during the summer. His uncle Ritchie was one of the kindest and most pleasurable guys with which to hang around and his friends were just as amazing. Shawn, Kyle and the rest of us would go out to “pre-game” at their apartment before they would head out to the bars. I was always one to be surrounded by drinkers but never one myself. My parents both had issues with alcohol and thus, I was still deathly afraid of heredity addiction.
This past Saturday, I was making my usual rounds driving for Lyft. I usually let the rides dictate where I go for the most part, so I am able to explore this great county called Los Angeles (and sometimes, Orange County too). So when I got sent up to the Canoga Park area, I barely batted an eye.
After that ride was completed, I quickly picked up another woman with a few bags headed close to home, the Bob Hope International Airport in Burbank. When I pulled up to the curb, she frantically threw her bags inside and immediately apologized that this might be a terrible ride for me.
You know, lately, if I wasn’t so busy writing blank pages, then it sure seems as though I wrote an awful lot about depression. Yet there are always two sides to a coin and when you flip one in the air, you’re bound to see the other side eventually. It may not look like it when the damned thing is spinning so fast, but the other side – the face side – is there at the ready; in a moment’s notice.
I wrote a post yesterday about working through a depression regarding my financial & creative funks. The response was overwhelming, to say the least– well, on Facebook; I can’t for the life of me figure out how to get people to comment directly through WordPress. I wrote a post about the nurses’ strike one time that elicited several comments, but that’s about it.
The reason for the follow-up is that I wanted to demonstrate the effect that these responses can have on an individual experiencing such a low. We all scroll through Facebook and ‘Like’ or ‘Haha’ or ‘Sad’ or ‘Wow!’ a post about kittens and Trump, but we rarely talk to each other and never ask how anyone else is doing.
An internal struggle perpetually rages on inside of my mind. Each day I forgo any creative work or physical betterment, I end, shutting my eyes to disappointment. Even the days at which I’m able to complete one or both at some significant plateau, it’s not enough. But there are some days where I am able to complete a substantial amount of one or both that I’m able to achieve a temporary nirvana; and it’s there in that moment, that I’m truly living.
Have you ever experienced: Sonder? This is the term coined by John Koenig as someone you may meet in your life, if only for a moment, that you may never see again. You become this small blip in their lives, such as a person passing by them in their car, or a background character you fixate on behind the person with which you are conversing as you formulate your thoughts in a café.
Here’s the official definition:Read More »
It’s been weird as of late. My perception of events has been skewed towards the negative. I find myself constantly daydreaming like usual, but the outcomes are always sad or fall into the macabre. It’s as if my life is one big joke; “This bad thing happens, bad luck here, bad luck there etc.
And I forget my teachings from my Interpersonal Communications class, namely the lesson of self-fulfilling prophecies. The best way to describe this idea is to give an example.