Patient

My Cancer Story Ch. 43 “A Sense of Dread”

/ GuyOnAWire / 100 Comments

Chapter 43: “A Sense of Dread”

Jump to a Chapter: 
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 |
31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 
41 | 42 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 
51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 
61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 
71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 
81 | 82 | 83 | 84 | 85 | 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 | 90 | 
91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | 95 | 96 | 97 | 98 | 99 | 100 | 

My attitude had forever been altered for the better, even as I returned to work. Sure, I still despised the job– I mean, who likes trying to get people into debt? Yet I had this sense of comfort in it all. I was alive; so the simple fact I could feel anything at all – even if it was disapproval of the company’s practices – was reassuring, to say the least.

Continue reading →

My Cancer Story Ch. 38 “Role Reversal”

/ GuyOnAWire / 100 Comments

Chapter 38: “Role Reversal” 

Jump to a Chapter: 
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 |
31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 39 | 40 |
41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 
51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 
61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 
71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 
81 | 82 | 83 | 84 | 85 | 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 | 90 | 
91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | 95 | 96 | 97 | 98 | 99 | 100 | 

Okay, when I said that I was bored, I didn’t want this.

 

I lifted the blue dome, freeing the fragrance of bacon and pancakes to waft into my nostrils. I took in the scent deeply, and smiled; it always smelled better than it tasted. It’s like when my friends and I would stay up all night, and I’d whip them up a batch of pancakes for breakfast. There was nothing quite like the first whiff of a freshly lifted hot cake.

The room’s door had a window on its body, but I always kept the blinds almost all the way down for privacy. I saw someone’s legs in what little window I allowed, so I knew what was next: a knock.

Continue reading →

My Cancer Story Ch. 17 “My Fellow Cancer Combatants”

/ GuyOnAWire / 100 Comments

Chapter 17: My Fellow Cancer Combatants 

Jump to a Chapter: 
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 |
31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 |
41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 
51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 
61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 
71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 
81 | 82 | 83 | 84 | 85 | 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 | 90 | 
91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | 95 | 96 | 97 | 98 | 99 | 100 | 

This round of chemo was the first of three smaller doses. After the two massive doses I completed before break– well, even after the first massive dose, the cancer was gone from my blood and furthermore from the bone marrow. I’d asked if the rest was necessary, but Dr. McGann insisted. “We need to make sure we truly destroyed all of the cancer cells, and if we don’t continue treatment, it could be dangerous.” It was like some sort of poisonous victory lap.

Just then, I realized… The way she reacted meant some people had refused treatment. That meant that I too could conceivably get off this train at any time and never look back. Immediately, that notion terrified me; to up and leave the biggest battle of your life?! No thank you.

Continue reading →