Living Up to My Expectations

“Set a goal. Accomplish it. Set another goal.”

While I never heard Donald Wade utter these words, I live by them each and every day. Sometimes to a fault; I’m hard on myself because I know those hours I sneak away watching mindless YouTube Videos don’t add to my career, but nevertheless, I’m maximizing my efficiency daily.
When I moved out to Los Angeles two years ago, it was to begin a chain reaction of goals in which to accomplish. I spent over a decade of my life post-cancer doing little regarding creativity or towards a profession. Sure, I went to school for four of those years and made some films, but the momentum from the education stalled, and I was left to wander aimlessly.

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My Cancer Story Ch. 95 “Getting Married”

Chapter 95: “Getting Married”

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Once we got engaged, Deirdre and I began our humble planning phase. Actually… Deirdre handled the majority of it because I was so busy with school and my projects, but still, we had open discussions about the guest list, the location, and our wedding party. We decided to keep our guest list to a minimum, all the while looking for the cheapest location we could muster. We didn’t care to have a “formal” wedding with a wedding party and all…

 

Okay, truthfully, I had wanted a minor semblance of that. I had always envisioned Shawn, Travis, and Jason in our own version of Frank the Tank’s wedding in Old School. Shawn would be the Vince Vaughn to my Will Ferrell, and it would be hilarious, and Deirdre’s and my version of “traditional.”

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My Cancer Story Ch. 91 “Reacquainted Passion”

Chapter 91: “Reacquainted Passion”

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With that essay, I handily won the Brian K. Welch scholarship and with it, a renewed desire to reacquaint myself with my passion. Around the same time, a wonderful employee at NESCom informed me of an annual poem collective called “Crosscut,” which was accepting submissions. I hadn’t been focused on poems much lately, but I knew that it would be a welcomed reprieve from my Photoshop and video projects.

 

I wrote four for the book and believe it or not, two were accepted! I was overjoyed with their literal acceptance of my work! To me, it was a validation that my entire career wasn’t a fluke! Three of the poems had rhymed, and for the fourth, I played with the notion of revision, forcing myself NOT to rhyme. Here are the four I had submitted (the latter two of which, were chosen):

Aqueous Transference

The Island By the Sea

My Favorite Shirt

A Slave to the Rhyme Continue reading

My Cancer Story Ch. 89 “Another One Bites the Dust”

Chapter 89: “Another One Bites the Dust”

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The other goal of my life resumed its rightful seat next to ‘Love’ in my limited mindshare: my career.

 

My college days weren’t just behind me, but also, for the first time in four years, ahead of me.

 

But first, I needed some sort of vehicle to get to school. Sure, I could still walk to work from my and Deirdre’s place, but not all the way to NESCom, which was several miles away.

 

Luckily, my Memére had offered to gift me her car so that I could attend my studies. She had been living by herself for the past five years since Pepére died and had no need for her car now.

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My Cancer Story Ch. 88 “The Next Step”

Chapter 88: “The Next Step”

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Boy, after the show argument and then this, Travis must have thought I hated him.

 

In the fall of 2010, after Travis and I’s lease expired, I wanted to take the next step in my relationship with Deirdre and move in together. She had just moved out of this beautiful apartment and into a place owned by her boss at EMMC, the head of the kitchen, Jimbo.

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My Cancer Story Ch. 87 “Fort Thomas Fluctuation”

Chapter 87: “Fort Thomas Fluctuates”

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No, I was going to prove my life goal duality– love and a career. I didn’t survive Leukemia to settle, and I sure as shit wasn’t going to give up on either one of my passions.

 

I applied for school again, and The New England School of Communications graciously accepted my reinstatement. I knew the next two to four years would be tough, but I was planning on getting my and Travis’ cartoon show up and running.

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My Cancer Story Ch. 86 “Broken Windows, Broken Relationships”

Chapter 86: “Broken Windows, Broken Relationships”

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This apartment was a surrealist breeding ground. Who knew that Travis and I could keep an apartment together? It was refreshing to have a roommate that did their share of cleaning, dishes, and trash removal. He even got the mail– without prompt! And we used to be at each other’s throats constantly!

 

Our friends, of both the former roommates and neighbor varieties, would also frequent our apartment. I remember one night, Shawn and I had been drinking a lot and I had seen Derek (the mutual friend that landlord, Trevor, and I shared) walk up our driveway. I thought it best to moon Derek as an innocent goof. Our windows were terrible at retaining any heat and were to be replaced soon; thus, I felt the cold exterior of the elements from outside upon my bare ass.

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