My Cancer Story Ch. 73 “Anxiety Resurgence”

Chapter 73: “Anxiety Resurgence”

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“I could sure use a drink right about now” is something I should have told myself during all of 2007. The year was not kind to me in the slightest. It all began in the first desolate few months of the year as the winter winds howled on well into April. I had purchased a Little Caesar’s pizza kit from one of my managers at work and as we cooked it while watching The Prestige, I realized that my memory isn’t what it used to be. As a matter of fact, my memory in regards to numbers, names, faces, and more was exponentially stronger the year before I was diagnosed with Leukemia. It’s ironic that I would remember the moment I realized my memory was faulty but worry about remembering specific things properly. Wait; was it The Prestige or The Illusionist? Great.

 

I wondered how much of this memory loss was my own undoing? Were my several attempts at making peace with weed my mental downfall or was it the chemotherapy? And by the same token, was I really to blame for my hair loss by pulling out clump after clump while under the initial effects of the same chemo or was it merely my family’s genetics?

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My Cancer Story Ch. 67 “My First Semester at UMaine Orono”

Chapter 67: “My First Semester at UMaine Orono”

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The air had grown crisp earlier than usual on this late August day in Maine. As I drove up the long campus street to my designated parking lot, I rolled down the windows to take it all in. It was one of those serene moments in which I took a step back out of my mundane day-to-day existence and marveled at the gift that was life. In these moments, I thought back to that first time I stepped outside of the hospital – holed up for over a month – and it never failed to humble. I could have been dead never to experience this faux-fall day or the first day of classes that would be the propulsion towards my career.

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My Cancer Story Ch. 65 “Job Hunting”

Chapter 65: “Job Hunting”

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Sure enough, Keith and Shawn easily transferred from one Paradis Shop N Save (Fort Kent) to the other (in Brewer). I, on the other hand, had hoped to do the same with my profession as “Sandwich Artist.”

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My Cancer Story Ch. 61 “My First Girlfriend”

Chapter 61: “My First Girlfriend”

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My path was set. I was ready to make films professionally and my tools to do so were falling into place. The money from the Sunshine Foundation finally came through (a cool grand) and I used it in tandem with my credit card to fund my very own laptop.

 

I stuck with Dell and decked it out with state-of-the-art processing power and the best graphics card and storage money can buy (in 2005). All in all, the impressive laptop cost me around twenty-five hundred dollars.

 

Yet, I still felt like I was missing something even as my desired career was well underway. I had spent the past two years being comforted with the fact that I remained in the vicinity of my family and friends, but I had spent the past twenty years without a single relationship.

 

Sure, I’d had some little childhood flings as many kids are wont to do, such as my girlfriend, Jenn, in second grade or my other girlfriend, Danielle – of one day – also in second grade, but I never had a true relationship.

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My Cancer Story Ch. 47 “The Ronald McDonald Bar Harbor Retreat”

Chapter 47: “The Ronald McDonald Bar Harbor Retreat”

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Soon after receiving my camera, the eternal window into my past, we visited the Pediatric Outpatient Oncology Clinic for my typical monthly checkup.

 

It was here that Betsy, the Pediatric Social Worker, had told us of a yearly retreat the Ronald McDonald House puts on for the families battling cancer. It was the weekend after Labor Day, so the rates were cheap and best of all: they paid for the entire event.

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