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Smashed into Oblivion: A Novella by Jamie Gagnon
“The King and I”
Beep beep beep. BEEP BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP BEEP.
Mario’s oversized nose (full of hidden hair), twitched at the incessant alarm. He rolled over and smacked the snooze button and turned back to his side. Instead of a bed of linen, however, he rested on a bed of grass, which rubbed up against his disproportioned nose. His nostrils again twitched but this time due to the allergen. Aaaa…. AAAAA-CHOOOO!
BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP. Mario, now frustrated, rolled over and smacked the snooze button once more.
Mr. Game & Watch was there instead. He used a manhole cover and flipped Mario from his back onto his face; once more in the itchy grass.
“A-choo!” Mario quickly hopped to his feet and began to churn a fireball in his palm. Game & Watch rang a bell to taunt him. DnnhDnnhDnnhDnnhDnnhaliiinng!
“Guys!,” Lucas pleaded. “Please! Look, we’re here…”
They turned to their partner. Game & Watch and Mario both slowly lowered their respective items in awe.
A bright and cheery landscape stretched as far as the eye could see; full of small little creatures, blocks with large stars on their sides, and lush greenery. Mountain lumps with colorful frosting tops and swiss cheese-like crags completed the skyline; and in the foreground, the grass was in small patches- but prickly as Mario had already discovered.
“Where… where ah is this?” Mario queried.
“This… is Dreamland, home of Kirby.” Lucas snapped to it. “We need to hurry still, never know how long this world will last.”
Mario nodded. “Where to then?”
“this way…” some random, disembodied voice said. Mario looked around in confusion and then to the sky, searching for the source.
Lucas surveys the land. “Let’s head this way,” pointed Lucas in the same direction, unaware of the voice.
They came across a small, rounded house in the middle of the woods. It was complete with a compact chimney and lone window, and it was nestled under a large oak tree.
The travelers knocked on the wooden door with a star doorknob.
Knock, knock, knock.
“Huh, I guess no one-sa home,” Mario assumed.
“No, it can’t be! (softly) We need Kirby.”
“KIRBY?!,” a large voice from far over a hill yelled.
Large, thunderous footsteps grew in volume until the source peaked over the hill.
A bulbous penguin in a bright red snowcoat, and a large hammer thrown over his shoulder waddled over to the trio.
Each step popped the super light Mr. Game & Watch up off of the ground like he was on a small trampoline.
Mario threw his hands up in the air and turned away, biting his tongue.
The oversized penguin rushed in and grabbed Lucas, and hugged him.
“You’ve seen Kirby? Please tell me where he is!,” the penguin shouted. Lucas gasped for air.
“We don’t… know… where he is!,” Lucas mustered. “Please let go of me!”
The penguin complied, dropping Lucas to the ground. “The name’s Dedede. KING Dedede to you! And I miss my little buddy. Well, competing against him that is. I JUST learned how to eat an entire four-course meal in one inhale!”
Mario paced in anger. “I’ve HAD it! How many food-obsessed megalomaniacal KINGS are there?!” He turned to face the others. “What are we gonna do-ah next, fight over a BANANA?!”
A large lizard sporting a gold crown and red cape strutted happily behind the interaction holding a bunch of bananas. He stopped, eyes bulging in surprise, looked down at his hoard, and slowly backed into the banana trees without being noticed.
“Hey! I’m not food-obsessed; I just can’t get enough food and I think about it all day. That’s all,” Dedede corrected.
Mario walked off.
“No, Mario! We need your help, “Lucas pleaded.
“We can’t trust this bird. Look at him: he’s large, wears extravagant clothing, and wieldsa a–a big hammer! He has villain written all over him!
“He’s more of an…. anti-hero. Plus, he’s all we have. We need to stick together.”
“…mama..mia. Mario stared at the patches of grass on the ground. Okie dokie, letsa go!”
Dedede stared at him in wonder. “Are you all just catchphrases or…?”
Mario walks off without the answer. As he turned away, he worried aloud: “Holy Pit-za Pie, am I?” He stopped and frowned at the newest piece of evidence. “That one doesn’t even make sense.”
Lucas turned to Dedede. “Don’t worry, De, we’ll find your friend, Kirby.”
“Well, wait– let’s just hold off on the “F Word” for now, but yeah… I do kinda miss that little puffball. I wonder where he is?”
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