Smashed into Oblivion: A Novella by Jamie Gagnon
“The Dark Cloud”
Mario marched up his well-worn path to Bowser’s Castle. The grass never stood a chance for growth.
As he grew closer to his enemy’s abode, only a few Goombas and Thwomps appeared at all and instead of attempting to block his path, they just sat idly by.
He swam through the water world, and the Cheep-Cheeps and Bloopers just minded their own business, remaining in their schools. Mario exclaimed, “Wow… (inhaled water) Bwwwwuggggh!”
Mario flopped onto the nearby shoreline like a beached Magikarp, spitting up water and gasping for air.
When he reached the fire world right before the castle, there were two Fry Guys hovering around a brick of dried grass. Their glasses were off and all you could see where beat-red pupils. Smoke poured from the middle and Mario went in further to investigate.
They snapped their red eyes at Mario. “Get away from us! We’re busy!” Quickly dropping their glasses so that their eyes were masked.
“I don’t want any-a trouble!” Mario quickly ran off continuing on his quest. “Weird smell. I wonder if that grass is from around here…”
About three hours later- two, two and a half if you run through, he finally reached the castle. Immediately, laid out over the front steps were dozens of Goombas and Koopas. At the top of the staircase sprawled out on a lawn chair was a Magikoopa, catching some rays.
Again like his previous encounters, all of the enemies are physically there, just not there. He stopped at one Goomba. “Excuse me, I-I have a question for you–
“Get away from me, man! Don’t kill me!”
“Kill you- No. I have a question. This may sound a lit-tle strange being surrounded by hun-dreds of you, but why aren’t you all attacking me? I’m here to save Peach so…” Mario bobs his head back and forth. “It’s kinda your-a thing.”
“Bowser’s gone. We don’t do anything without Bowser’s say, Bros. We have no idea where he went.”
“Huh, I see. Thatsa strange.”
Mario pried open the large castle doors. He creeped down the hallway. “Boooooowser? Prin-cess? Halloooo?” As he passed each room, he found a new set of segregated creatures.
In one room- the greenhouse, he found dozens of Monty Moles just napping in the dirt. They barely even lifted their heads to acknowledge their sworn enemy.
In another room, Mario flicked the switch. Then again. The light wasn’t working. He focused a little harder on the floor as it appeared to be… moving.
He created a fireball in his hands and waved it over the floor. Dozens of Wigglers scuttled on the floor filling the entire surface area.
“Ew, that’sa gross…”
He reached the peak of the castle and climbed onto the top to get a better view of the kingdom. Everything was quiet. He could see Peach’s castle all the way across the ice world, fire world, water world, and finally the desert world.
Then in the corner of his right eye he saw an enormous blackish-purple cloud of darkness rumble over the countryside. Mario jumped to alert. The cloud slowly crawled over the idle Mushroom Kingdom folk far away. When the cloud finally cleared… The land is bare of any life, or color.
Then a strange thing happened. Buildings of all sorts, ones from his old world in Brooklyn popped up in its lifeless wake. The cloud quickly reached Peach’s castle swallowing it whole.
“Mamma-Mia! Those poor Toads! Uh Jim… and… Bob!”
It’s as if the Dark Cloud heard him because it shifted towards Bowser’s castle. The desert world was the first to get engulfed.
Mario rushed back down the castle and halted to a stop in front of Bowser’s minions. “Let’s-a-go! We have to get out of here, now! A DARK CLOUD is covering the Mushroom-a Kingdom! Hurry!”
The minions slowly turned their heads like junkie burnouts. The same Goomba responded.”I told you: no orders, no action.”
Mario throws his white-gloved hands into the air as if he was getting boiled in a large pot. “Arrgh!” He grabbed the Goomba and threw him under his arm.
“Hey, man put me down!,” Goomba pleaded.
“You’re a-gonna help me, whether or NOT you have orders!”
Mario dashed around a corner, scrambling down the hallway, checking each passing door for some clue.
“Where does King Koopa keep his-a power-ups when not in use?”
“I have no idea, man. He keeps them tight-lipped, even from us.”
Mario shook the Goomba, “We have no time for this!” The Goomba’s eyes rolled around independently from one another and finally went straight again.
Mario returned the Goomba under his arm and jolted down another hallway, Goomba rocked rhythmically back and forth in the armpit with each frantic step.
Mario skidded to a stop in front of a pulsating light. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. The Goomba’s jaw fell too, finally reacting with exuberance: “Whoa, it’s– it’s gorgeous!”
In front of Mario stood a large red door, with a stark blue glow surrounding it. “This must be it, right?,” asked Mario.
“I’ve never seen this door before, replied Goomba. “I wouldn’t go in there.
S-something’s not right, Mario.” Goomba tried to wiggle away.
Mario’s brow furrowed, “It has to be it. You’d said it yourself, you don’t even a-know where his trove is.”
“Let me go, I’m not going in there, man.” Goomba struggled to get out from Mario’s arm.
“Wait, let me put you down,” Mario warned. Goomba shook so much his head made contact with Mario’s inner elbow. The pressure was too much, causing Goomba to compress.
Mario dropped to his knees, holding the flattened remains of the small nuisance. Then POP, he disappeared into nothing. Mario had no time to mourn as the rumble made its way to the castle.
Mario stood up and watched the ceiling shake. He saw it again in the corner of his eye all the way down the reddish stone hallway. The darkness crawled its way through the castle walls entirely. He glanced to the door, then back to the encroaching mass. He reached for the doorknobs. Nothing, it’s locked.
“No, no, no! He desperately rattled the knobs, watching the mass creep closer. The knob snapped off. He gazed at it, and shoved it into his overall pockets.
His shoulder smashed into the door.
In a fit of exhaustion, Mario took both of his hands and pushed up on the doors. CLICK. Mario surprised, smiled bright. Then the doors burst opened suddenly sucking him into a vortex, spinning him into another dimension. The doors quickly shut and the mass swallowed it whole.
Like this blog, leave a comment, and follow me on Twitter @GuyOnAWire for more Smash Bros. stuff.
And stay tuned for more chapters by following me on this blog.